How to Have No Free Time and Not Drown in Sadness

Lately, I have had no free time. By “lately,” I of course mean “since November, when I decided that combining going to school full-time with an internship and a job and some freelance copyediting was a good idea.”

Both because I am a glutton for punishment and the idea of quitting anything or truly letting anyone down gives me the sweats, I have not dropped any of these responsibilities. All of this means that something has got to give, and that something has been my free time, and in turn all of my hobbies, interests, and stupid research holes I spend four hours in.

Every once in a while, when I do find a precious, precious spot of free time, I have felt legitimate stress to use it to its very fullest. Over the past five months (and god help me how has it been only five months), these are some of the solutions I’ve found.

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Why We Shouldn’t #Cancel Shane Dawson

YouTuber Shane Dawson is always in the news lately, but not for the reasons he wants to be.

You’ve probably heard the name in some capacity, but for those who aren’t super familiar, Shane Dawson is a famous YouTuber best known for the revolutionary, multi-part series he posts on his channel. Other YouTubers like Jeffree Star, Jake Paul, and Tana Mongeau have all been the subject of these documentary-like series, while other series focus on more conspiracy theory-related topics.

Most recently, Shane was responsible for shedding light on the wild conspiracy theory that Chuck E Cheese’s might be recycling uneaten pieces of pizzas and giving them to other customers for consumption.

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Celebrity Couples That Haunt Me

I am an unapologetic consumer of celebrity gossip. There is nothing that delights me more than the tangled webs our stars weave before our very eyes. The joy I get from a new installment in The Cut’s gossip column, or from an Instagram stalk that makes me aware that the creative directors of Bumble are sisters, and also the daughters of musician David Foster, who is currently dating the actress/singer Katharine McPhee, who is younger than said creative directors, and that 69-year-old Foster is newly divorced from Yolanda Hadid, of Housewives/being Bella and Gigi’s mom fame.

Tangled webs, I tell you.

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Five Apps for the Overcommitted Individual

Confession: I’m an over-committer. It’s not even that people are asking me to do things for them, and I’m just too much of a “yes-man” to say no. I’m amazing at saying no, so that’s clearly not the issue. Actually, I just love the feeling of getting involved in something that interests me and then putting every ounce of my passion into it that I … Continue reading Five Apps for the Overcommitted Individual

Grocery Store Cookies: The Definitive Ranking

I love cookies. This fact probably forms one of the cornerstones of my personality, alongside my semi-nocturnal sleep schedule and my hatred of the B line. Another sad fact of my life is that I am debilitatingly lazy when it comes to cooking. Meals I have eaten this week include: half a bagel; three mandarin oranges, paired with a handful of tortilla chips; one of those Chewy granola bars that are basically candy.

Basically, we’re thriving.

All of this means I never have cooking and/or baking ingredients on hand, because they would absolutely expire before I used them up. Which means I am forced to seek out a homemade-esque cookie alternative elsewhere.

That is where the grocery store comes in. Most grocery store chains have some sort of eerily identical allegedly homemade cookie, in the following varieties: chocolate chip, M&M (or whatever generic word meaning M&M suits your fancy), oatmeal chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, sugar, peanut butter, brownie.

In an astonishingly short amount of time, I have managed to try each and every one of these cookies. Except oatmeal raisin. Oatmeal raisin cookies are simply granola bars.

Now, it’s time to rank them. This will be done through a rubric based on chewiness (a must), overall flavor (obviously), whether they are somewhat gross (an occupational hazard of factory-line desserts), and if I could make quick work of a whole bag.

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My Crazy Christmas Day Schedule

The Christmas season is, without a doubt, one of the craziest times of the year. There never seems to be enough time to accomplish everything before the big day, and when December 25th finally rolls around, the chaos comes to a boiling point. Little cousins are running around asking someone to open up their brand-new easy bake oven. Wrapping paper and elusive twist ties are strewn about the place. Your weird uncle is too busy talking about the Christmas party he went to last week to pass you the mashed potatoes.

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Amazon Wish List Deep Dive

Halloween has passed and Thanksgiving is upon us, which means I am currently listening to my all-time favorite Christmas bops. Don’t fight me on this—Thanksgiving is cute and all, but I’m really just waiting for Santa to come down my chimney. Let me deck my halls and ring my silver bells while I eat the Figgie pudding so graciously brought to me by those random carolers at my door.

With the Christmas season almost upon us, I figured it would be a great time to revisit my Amazon wish list and see what I might want to ask for. As I scrolled through the list, I really couldn’t help but laugh at myself. While most of it was practical and reasonable, there were some strange oddities on the list that had me questioning my state of mind when I first saw them. They were probably items that I added either at 2am when I was too tired to be rational, or during the 15 minutes before class when I dissociate and just troll the internet.

If you’re looking for a unique, funny gift to give a friend or family member, consider this list a guide to potential gift options. The below items would also be great for a Yankee Swap, White Elephant, or Dirty Santa gift exchange. If you’re just here for a laugh at my expense, that’s quite alright as well. If you’re my mom and you’re reading this (hi mom!), I encourage you to continue reading: great gift ideas ahead!

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My Goldfish Journey

Every year, my parents and I journey to Topsfield, MA for the Topsfield Fair, the oldest agricultural county fair in the United States. This October, we continued the tradition and attended the 200th annual fair on Saturday the 6th. At first, the day was like any other time we had gone to the fair: we trudged through the mud and muck of the parking lot to the actual fairground; I pet several baby goats and one hungry horse; my Dad unsuccessfully tried to win me a stuffed animal at the shooting game (it’ll be your year next year, Dad); I gorged on fried dough.

But, as we walked through the Midway—the part of the fair with all of the games—I noticed one particular game booth. The game consisted of throwing ping pong balls into fish bowls. If you got a ball in a bowl, you won a cute little goldfish!

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