That’s right, folks. It’s time to talk about the elephant in the room: The Mattress Firm Conspiracy Theory.
Forget your basic Berenstain Bears Mandela effects – this next level conspiracy theory will make you say “Illuminati, who?”
If you’re not familiar with the Mattress Firm Conspiracy Theory, here’s a quick rundown (you can also watch the video Youtuber Shane Dawson made about it): Back in January, a Reddit user commented that they believed Mattress Firm, the largest specialty mattress retailer in the US is a money laundering company, according to Business Insider.
For those who don’t know what money laundering is, according to the Google dictionary, it is “the concealment of the origins of illegally obtained money, typically by means of transfers involving foreign banks or legitimate businesses.” Think Al Capone; people or businesses obtain money illegally but lie about where the money came from, typically claiming that the money was made honestly through business or came from foreign countries legally.
Though the original Reddit thread has since been deleted, other diligent citizens of the US took it upon themselves to investigate. Several videos surfaced on YouTube of people driving around their city Mattress Firm hunting. Some people discovered that there were three, sometimes four or more Mattress Firms within a couple of miles of one another. Check out this google map of Mattress Firms in Austin, Texas:
Even in-and-around Boston, one can see the uncanny abundance of Mattress Firms:
Creepy, right? What makes it double-creepy is that there are never ANY people in these stores. Having a Mattress Firm in my own hometown, I don’t ever see any customers, nor even bored employees having pillow fights with one another. So, how are these businesses staying afloat?
I did some digging of my own to try and find out why Mattress Firm feels the need to take up so many storefronts that could be housing much-needed Chipotles (I love me some chips and guac). An article from the Chicago Tribune back in 2016, which included direct quotes from the former CEO of Mattress Firm Ken Murphy (we’ll talk about his resignation later on), said that the abundance of storefronts wasn’t all that strange.
Murphy explained that because the prices of mattresses are so high, even just the sale of one or two mattresses is enough to keep a store front open for months. Additionally, he said that, even if the businesses don’t do well, the storefronts are at least good advertising for the company.
Yeah, because that seems logical; instead of maybe spending some *cough* fake *cough* money on commercials, why not just buy a whole store?
Something is fishy, here, and it’s not just this guy’s neckbeard.
While the original Reddit thread might be forever lost on the interwebs, another Reddit user resurrected the theory, further elaborating on it:
Also, where do people most often hide money? (Cue spooky music) UNDER THE MATTRESS.
To further support this theory, Mattress Firm has yet to publish its full-year accounts, meaning that the company hasn’t made public all of the business transactions it’s made… “accounting irregularities” my ass. Additionally, multiple executives, including CEO Murphy, have resigned since this conspiracy theory has gone viral.
Their throne of mattresses is tumbling to the ground.
Call conspiracy theories BS all you want, but you have to admit, this one sounds pretty legit. Something shady is happening at Mattress Firm, and it’s not just the fact that they aren’t a certified Tempurpedic Mattress seller (seriously, Tempurpedic sleep really is power).
Check out Mattress Firm’s Response to the conspiracy theory here.